I figured since the doctor was so optimistic last time, maybe he'll up the dose some and that will do the trick. I was so excited to get started. Was I excited about injections? No, not really, but then again, I was! I was ready to try again (just like I had the last 25 months!).
I made the hour drive down to Savannah for my doctor's appointment. Much like my other appointments, this one was at 8:15am and I had get up pretty early to make it there on time and beat the rush hour.
When I got to the office they quickly took me back to the exam room. I knew the drill; "empty bladder, bottoms off." I waited for the doctor to come in and do the exam. While he was doing the exam he said "interesting". He didn't say much more after that, he didn't even read off the numbers like he had all of the times before. My heart sunk. What did that even mean? He finished the exam and said, "you'll have to skip this month's treatment". My belly dropped and I'm sure the look on my face told it all. I was disappointed beyond belief. I felt the tears forming in my eyes as he left the room and instructed me to meet him in the office.
I got dressed and met him in the office. I didn't know what was going on and I had too many emotions to clearly think. I was upset and heartbroken that we couldn't continue with the injections. He explained that I had cysts that had formed and I had not passed them. He said that it sometimes happens when the medications are taken and that 90% of the time they will dissolve on their own and continuing the medication would just complicate things and be a "waste". How often did this occur? I asked him, and he said he sees it in 1/3 of his patients. He instructed me to call to check in on/around the 24th day of my cycle and to call when my period started. I left the office with my head hung.
The appointment only lasted 15 minutes. It was a hard 15 minutes to comprehend. I headed to the mall in hopes of getting some stuff I needed for our upcoming military ball. They weren't open yet. Wonderful. What was I to do? I was a wreck and needed some distraction. I called E to let him know. I was in tears on the phone and explained how disappointed I was. My stupid body. I don't understand. Why?! There's that question again, stupid "why". After I got off the phone with E, I texted M and called my mom to let them know what had happened. No one really understands, but I am so thankful to have them in my life to try to help encourage me and cheer me up.
I waited for the mall to open and when I went in it seemed like around every corner there was one more pregnant women, or one more baby. I was surrounded with the very thing that I want. I hurried and got out of there as quick as I could. On the way home, I went through spurts of tears. I finally calmed myself and talked myself into my infamous "maybe this month" speech. I told myself to look on the bright side, that possibly we could conceive this month without medication! Wouldn't that be something!?!
So, this brings us to current day. I am in my 26th month of trying and am about 8 days past ovulation. I took a test this morning, and of course it's only one pink line. But, then again, it
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