We made a HUGE decision since our last failed IUI.
I had the story about the failed IUI in the "draft" for quite some time and even now that it's published, it isn't really finished. My heart was broken to the point of not even wanting to talk about it anymore. It was weighing on my marriage, as infertility does, so I took a pretty long break from my blog (as you know), but now we have even better news to share!
We decided to adopt a child. Yes, adopt.
We prayed about this decision for a while. We had even starting talking about adopting a couple years ago when we started thinking about growing our family. It was something that we both were on the same page about then, and as we grew more serious about it, nothing had -really- changed. C took a little longer than I did to become completely serious about it, but in a week he was on board 110%. As a couple, to be on the same page about a huge decision like this, was amazing. It's a big deal.
I have been asked by some friends, "how did you know that adoption was right for you?". Well, I don't know how to answer that question other then by saying, "it's a God thing". It wasn't a decision made as a last resort. It was a decision that we felt at peace with and felt as if this were the right thing to do. As everyone knows, this world is growing more wicked as the day passes. Our biggest statement to folks has been, "why not save a child instead of add a child to this chaotic world - there are so many out there that just need to be helped".
Now, a lot of people who decide to adopt sometimes choose overseas children. I think that is great, but for C and I, this wasn't what we wanted. I guess you can call us patriotic in a sense? We are both Veterans, so that's accurate... ;). Our thoughts were to adopt a child from America and in Montana (where we live). Why Montana? Well, to be honest, it's cheaper for one, but for two, what if it needed to be an open adoption?
We soon began exploring all of the adoption language and trying our best to understand the pros and the cons to open, semi-open, and closed adoptions. What about race? What about disabled children? What about older children? Infants? The list goes on and on.
We started talking to a local adoption agency and started the process.
We were scared, but yet so excited. Scared because what if, by some random off-chance, we couldn't adopt. Scared because, there are so many unknowns. Scared because, what if we are that one story where the birth mom changes her mind when the baby is born or what if we sit on a waiting list for years. Scared because, well, adoption can be down-right scary, especially if you haven't done it before or even know where to begin. Or how about money...adoption is expensive.
Regardless, we rolled with the what-ifs and began the journey anyway knowing that all of these questions and concerns would be worth all the fret, worry, and stress....
To be continued... ;)
-Jess
Remember, there are so many out there that have been through and are going through unexplained infertility and now adoption. If there is just one person I can help with our story, I would be glad. Please share, if you so see fit. Always be kind.
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