Now we are on month 28 of trying to have a baby, and I'm upset to announce that we have essentially run out of time. This will be our last month for a little while due to some circumstances that are out of our control It breaks my heart, however, I know it makes sense and it's probably the best decision for us at this time.
You are probably wondering why we have run out of time. I haven't really talked about this part to anyone, but a few people and now, to you. E was placed on a medical evaluation board through the Marine Corps back in August. His diagnosis is still being worked out, but we do know the root of the problem. I won't be discussing his medical information to protect his privacy, however, it's aside from anything to do with infertility. He has, however, given me the permission to talk about the med board. Back in August, we were told he had 6-9 months until he would either be found "fit" or "unfit"(and discharged) for active duty. As of now it has been 5 months and we have not heard a decision, also, as of now, he has one year exactly left on his active duty contract. He is unlikely to find a job right out of the gate due to some of the issues that may come with the diagnosis and/or surgeries involved. So you see, we have run out of time with medical benefits and being able to have a baby with a good, steady, income.
This is it...for a while. I say "for a while" because we have a plan brewing. We will have a family one day. We will probably delay the process for about 6 months to try to get our lives on a new path and start a new, exciting journey. What's 6 months when I've been through 27 and now 28? Nothing. Of course, I'm sad, but I know it's the best thing for our family and our baby (one day). I'm getting pretty excited about our plans. I am looking into living out one of my career dreams (I'll announce it, when it comes time) that I've had to put off due to E being in the military. I will be able to put my degree to good use and make good money with great benefits as well. I truly believe once I get to the place I want to be, God will place a baby in our lives. I think this is His way of showing us that we need to live out our dream and even more dreams and gifts will be placed in our paths.
Of course, we have this month, so I'm not out of hope, and I never will be out of hope. "Hope" is something I rely on every day. There is always hope. I am actually very hopeful about this month, and my doctor seems to be as well!
When I went in on Dec 31 they took a look and decided to start me on 75 IUIs of follistim. That dose is what they ended me on last time I did injections. My doctor uses the "beehive" analogy on me. He says my ovaries are "golden" and my husband is "more then good". He get's really scared about giving me too much medication because he only wants two eggs to be produced (mine that I produce on my own and one with the medications help). He says it's like hitting a beehive and only wanting two bees to come out instead of a swarm. I injected the 75 IUIs of follistim into me for three days in a row. I went back to the doctor yesterday and he took a look again and I was measuring at what I measured the last day of monitoring of my first cycle with injections (wow!). He seemed to be thrilled, but at the same time not knowing how much of a dose he should give me. He told me to continue to take 75 IUIs and to keep my phone on me, that he tends to be a little more "chicken" after lunch. He said my ovaries "freak him out" and he doesn't want to over due it. Talk about a freaky situation. Uhm, no, I don't need to produce more then 2-3 eggs, I don't think my body could carry more then that (if you know me, you understand). But, getting the right dose is like playing with that beehive, you want to hit it just right. Not too hard, but not too easy either. My case is difficult..wonderful.
Of course, we have this month, so I'm not out of hope, and I never will be out of hope. "Hope" is something I rely on every day. There is always hope. I am actually very hopeful about this month, and my doctor seems to be as well!
When I went in on Dec 31 they took a look and decided to start me on 75 IUIs of follistim. That dose is what they ended me on last time I did injections. My doctor uses the "beehive" analogy on me. He says my ovaries are "golden" and my husband is "more then good". He get's really scared about giving me too much medication because he only wants two eggs to be produced (mine that I produce on my own and one with the medications help). He says it's like hitting a beehive and only wanting two bees to come out instead of a swarm. I injected the 75 IUIs of follistim into me for three days in a row. I went back to the doctor yesterday and he took a look again and I was measuring at what I measured the last day of monitoring of my first cycle with injections (wow!). He seemed to be thrilled, but at the same time not knowing how much of a dose he should give me. He told me to continue to take 75 IUIs and to keep my phone on me, that he tends to be a little more "chicken" after lunch. He said my ovaries "freak him out" and he doesn't want to over due it. Talk about a freaky situation. Uhm, no, I don't need to produce more then 2-3 eggs, I don't think my body could carry more then that (if you know me, you understand). But, getting the right dose is like playing with that beehive, you want to hit it just right. Not too hard, but not too easy either. My case is difficult..wonderful.
I left the office and got my blood drawn, like every time before. I was kind of ticked off because I was in pain from the exam, he has some issues finding my left ovary, but says it's very common. I wish my ovaries weren't so "golden" and my husband wasn't so much "more then good" when going to an infertility doctor. It doesn't make sense!
When I got home yesterday afternoon from the doctor office, I received a call. It was them. They had reviewed my labs and the nurse told me he had lowered my dosage to 67, 58, and 50 for the next three days. I am to go back to the doctor on Sunday (remember, this is an hour and a half drive). Great, he was chicken! But, maybe it's a good thing? Who knows.
So that's the newest update on our situation. That one pink line needs to turn to two and in a hurry, but if it doesn't there is hope because there is always hope. We will have a family one day, I just know it in my heart. Whether it is a biological baby or adopted, we will be blessed because God is so so good.
When I got home yesterday afternoon from the doctor office, I received a call. It was them. They had reviewed my labs and the nurse told me he had lowered my dosage to 67, 58, and 50 for the next three days. I am to go back to the doctor on Sunday (remember, this is an hour and a half drive). Great, he was chicken! But, maybe it's a good thing? Who knows.
So that's the newest update on our situation. That one pink line needs to turn to two and in a hurry, but if it doesn't there is hope because there is always hope. We will have a family one day, I just know it in my heart. Whether it is a biological baby or adopted, we will be blessed because God is so so good.
~Jess
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